Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Like a Yo-Yo

I never thought I'd have to start tagging my blog posts with words like Cancer. Osteosarcoma. Chemotherapy.

Life sucks.

My emotions have been swinging back and forth the past couple of weeks regarding Chaser and the thought of chemotherapy.

Chemo is ugly. It's poison. It's terrible stuff that makes us all question what in the hell are we doing this for??! But it has a purpose. Chaser's cancer won't be vanquished by an amputation. She'll need the chemo's shock-and-awe effects to have any real chance.

But it still won't kill it. It's - literally - in her bones. Her time with us will probably be shorter rather than longer. So there's a war in my conscience about putting her through chemo. If she only has a few months left...do we really want to see her spending the next three months vomiting, lethargic with no appetite? And that's AFTER weeks of rest and rehab from major surgery.

We owe this beautiful creature so much more than that. We owe her car rides and swimming at the lake and fetching tennis balls and hamburgers. Making the final moments as special as all the previous years before this horrible diagnosis turned our lives upside down.

This decision would be so much easier if (heaven forbid) it was our son instead. We'd move mountains, go bankrupt, travel the earth, work for a miracle to fight cancer. Sigh. Chaser is so special too...but the odds simply aren't in our favor with regards to canine osterosarcoma.

Doing one round of chemo is an option. See how it goes, then make the decision whether to continue or not. There are no easy answers to the endless amount of questions. Bottom line - we love our golden girl.


  1. I know the decision you have to make for Chaser is the worst thing I could imagine for one of my pets. As I sit here crying my eyes out for you I remember what my Vet has told me many times. Are you doing this for you or for your dog? I've had to put 3 dogs down due to contemplating that question. Chemo is an awful thing, but sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Try to put yourself in Chaser's paws. Think about the kind of dog she is and what she would want for you.
    I'll pray for you and Chaser and that God gives you guidance in your decision.
    Lesa Wathen