Thursday, September 25, 2014

Got it?

Last week, I told my young son that his female fourth-grade classmates will soon be undergoing changes within the next year two, thanks to our dear friend, Puberty.

He jumped like he’d been tased.

“Here’s the deal,” I said in an I-mean-it kind way. “They are gonna start to grow boobs.”

“Geesh, Mom,” he whined and rolled his eyes.

I looked him straight in the eye and continued, “And girls get really sensitive when someone starts making fun of their boobs. Or lack of boobs. So you will not make fun or allow any of your friends to make fun. You will show them respect and kindness. Got it?”

He quickly nodded, “Got it,” and off he went.


How simple was that, America?

As a parent to a little boy, it’s my job to ensure he grows up into a man. A man who gets it.

The “Washington Post” reported that 45 percent of the NFL’s 150 million American fans are female. Hooters commercials and barely-dressed cheerleaders dancing along the sidelines not-withstanding, the female audience has become one of the most prized demographics for the billion-dollar organization.

You can now buy flip flops and purses and jewelry and yoga pants and lingerie decorated with the logo of your favorite NFL team.

It won’t be long before it’s on a box of tampons.

God bless capitalism.

But please do me a favor, NFL.

Identify those players who like to beat women and children and boot them out of the league.

Do it. Do it now.


The NFL refused to boot Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens after seeing video of him dragging his then-fiancee from an elevator in an Atlantic City casino.

Because apparently the parties involved said they both regretted it. She said some things, he said some things, it just got out of hand, they claimed.

It wasn’t until the portion of the video INSIDE the elevator was released, showing Rice punching the woman in the face, that his suspension was extended beyond two games.

Now Minnesota Vikings player Adrian Peterson has been indicted on charges of negligent injury to his 4-year-old old son.

He has admitted to “disciplining” the child with a tree switch. Photos released by the Houston Police Department detailed his “discipline.”

Gashes, bruising and bloody welts covered the boy’s thighs. The report also detailed further injuries to his buttocks and scrotum.

Now, due process will play out in this wicked little play. And that’s OK. We trust that the system works, and truth will out.

At first, the Vikings deactivated Peterson from the active roster after learning of the indictment.

Way to go, Vikings!

But then the team received a beatdown by the New England Patriots.

Wait. What?

A day later, Peterson was back on the roster, eligible to practice, attend team meetings and given permission to suit up for the next game.

Due process must be followed, officials said. Let’s not rush to judgement. Let the man have his day in court, the Vikings cried.

But the Vikings and the NFL are not the court of law. Because of that, they are allowed to use a little common sense right now.

And here’s what my common sense tells me: When a man who has ADMITTED to hitting his son leaves that kind of trauma on a defenseless child’s tender little body?

I don’t need the state of Texas to tell me he did something wrong.

And neither should the Vikings or the NFL.

It wasn’t until advertisers and sponsors started dropping like flies - hitting the team where it counts - that they turned around and took Peterson off the field yet again.

But don’t feel too sorry for him. He’s still getting paid.

Don’t let his excuse “that’s how I was raised” get Peterson a free pass. If the photos released by the police department are in any way, shape or form indicative of the discipline he received as a child?

It was wrong then too. If the damage he inflicted had been on a person 18 or older, he’d have been arrested for assault.

Since Peterson appears to be such a fine model of strict parenting, I tried to find out just how many children he has. You know, so I can see exactly what kind of expert he is.

Some reports say five. Some speculate seven, conceived by possibly at least four different women.

It appears Peterson himself is reluctant to answer. It’s possible he doesn’t say because he just doesn’t know.

In August last year he discovered the existence of a 2-year-old son he wasn’t aware he had fathered. 

He revealed in an ESPN interview that the first time he saw the little boy was two months later. At the hospital. Where the child was on life support after allegedly being beaten by the mother’s boyfriend.

The child soon died from his injuries.

Here is a man who has already lost one child to domestic violence. One would hope he’d be a little more protective of the children he has left.

Instead, after reports of his indictment, Peterson tweeted a photo of a Bible with blue-highlighted passages regarding the dangers of judging others.

Sorry, but I’m gonna judge right here: a guy who has several kids with several different women is really the last guy from whom I want Bible quotes.

You don’t get to pick and choose from a list of good behaviors, Mr. Peterson.
If you’re gonna talk the talk, learn to walk the walk.


At the Patriots/Vikings home opener, one fan appeared wearing a Adrian Peterson jersey and carrying a long switch in support of the beleaguered running back.

She was female.

Maybe the NFL - who made $9.5 billion last year thanks to their 45 percent female fan base - is smarter than we think.

If some women can’t get it, how can we expect men to?

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