Top Three Questions

 

The Top Three Questions We’ve Gotten Since Our Son Went To College:

"What’s it like to be an empty nester?"

It’s pretty damn awesome. I highly recommend it!

I took over Gabe’s bathroom. It’s one advantage of him not planning to visit home until Christmas.

Sure, the house is more quiet. But when you only have one kid and said kid is active, he’s already out of the house a lot. And when he’s home? He’s a teenager, which means he’s usually in his room and only wanders downstairs when he needs food or money or to bring down the dirty dishes he’s been hoarding all month.

The cat started sleeping on Gabe’s bed, which she’s never done. So I thought, “Oh, my God, how adorable! The cute little kitty misses Gabe.”

Then I discovered she threw up on his bed.

Not so cute after all.

Fortunately it’s nothing a load of laundry won’t fix.

But don’t worry. She’s gonna get hers. Wait until I bring the new dog home.

"How’s your kid doing at college?"

This is the question all parents of college freshmen get, right? The answers can vary depending on the kid and the situation. For Gabe?

He’s doing great! At least we think so. He hasn’t called to ask for bail money or been kicked out of school yet, so really that’s the most a parent can hope for. He's making friends and says his classes are easy.

Plus, he lives FOUR MILES FROM THE BEACH.

FOUR. MILES.

FOUR.

Our family is pretty Old School. We don’t FaceTime or Snapchat or slide into each other’s DMs on Insta. Texting is our typical method of communication. We didn’t even talk to Gabe on the phone until three weeks after we dropped him off at a school 1,000 miles away in Florida. We tried to schedule FaceTime, but he blew us off. So we let it go.

Does that make us bad parents? Or just respecting Mr. Independent’s need for independence?

Tow-MAY-tow, tow-MAH-tow.

So unlike a lot of parents who get daily updates or photos or TikToks or whatever new app the kids are using these days, Jon and I are usually left to our own method of gathering intelligence. Which is basically the Find My iPhone app that lets us know where Gabe is at any given moment.

He’s a nice kid to leave that feature engaged on his phone for us. Otherwise, he could be in Cuba and we’d never know it.

It’s his own version of Love Language.

"Is your house on the market yet?"

Jon is thisclose to putting a Realtor on speed dial.

I, however, don’t think Mr. Independent would like his parents moving down to Florida. At least not yet.

Give us another month or two. I may be more on board with the idea as the weather gets colder. Maybe we’ll pick the opposite coast so we’re not TOO obvious.