One of the whitest towns in America

 

My dad listened to Rush Limbaugh’s radio show every day while riding a tractor on our family farm.

It was a different time back then.

Before the internet. Before social media. Before Rush went off the rails and his more controversial views became public. Instead, he was simply a radio personality who echoed many of the thoughts and grievances held by conservative folks like my dad, who had been a Marine Corps fighter pilot before heading home to Missouri to help my grandparents on the farm.

Now that we know what we know about the guy, I’d like to think my dad would have distanced himself from the Rush Limbaughs of the world. Unfortunately, my dad died before many of Rush’s more shameful behaviors and opinions saw the public light of day.

I recently had a terrific conversation with my mom about learned behavior. We know - as humans - that we aren’t born haters and bigots. We might become one during those early formative years, depending on what we’re exposed to. And I think political ideologies are formed in much the same way.

Most of us grow up in a home of Democrats or Republicans. And as kids, we constantly hear about those “lazy, welfare Democrats who want higher taxes” or those “racist Republicans who don’t want to pay for anything.” If that’s the only rhetoric we hear, then it’s no surprise that we grow up believing those same stereotypes - even if we experience the opposite as we get older. And it’s difficult to rewrite those hardwire settings.

As Mom and I talked about recent events in Springfield, Ohio, she clutched her hands together and sighed, “I just don’t understand why people hate others so much - simply because of their background.”

My mom grew up in New York. The daughter of the city’s chief of police and a stay-at-home mom. My grandfather - who was also a volunteer firefighter - hired the first Black police officer in the city’s history.

“Maybe it’s because I grew up in a town that had so many people of different races and religious backgrounds,” my mom said. “It just never was an issue for me.”

I looked my mom dead in the eye and said, “I grew up in one of the whitest towns in America. And it didn’t matter. You and Dad raised us with those same values of acceptance and understanding. We are the people we are today because of the example you set for us.”

Even though I grew up in a conservative home, one where we watched the evening news every night and subscribed to the local newspaper, my life’s experiences have moved my political needle to the middle. I don’t like taxpayer waste, but I also think supporting social programs and education are vital to our country’s success. I’ve had to reprogram some of the political ideologies I learned as a kid. And that’s OK.

I believe that most of us reside in the middle - maybe a bit to the left or right - but still in the middle. It’s where compromises are made and things get done. And it’s where we will move forward as a country.

It’s been a tough eight years during which America was hijacked by politicians and groups espousing extreme rhetoric from the right and the left. Their numbers might be fewer than most, but they are mighty and they are loud. They’ve created deadlock in both our state capital and in Washington. Our politicians in the middle have been handcuffed.

In reflecting on my dad’s admiration for Rush Limbaugh during a simpler time, I see how political ideologies can be shaped by the environment we grow up in. We are influenced by the voices we hear, whether on the radio or at the dinner table. Yet, as we grow and experience the world for ourselves, we have the opportunity - and responsibility - to challenge and reshape those early beliefs.

I’ve learned that it’s okay for our views to evolve over time. It’s a sign of growth, not weakness, when we allow our experiences to reframe our understanding of the world.

My mom’s words still resonate: “I just don’t understand why people hate others so much.”

Those simple values of acceptance and understanding that my parents instilled in me and my brother are what have helped me navigate the shifting political landscape. 

Today, I see the importance of meeting in the middle - finding common ground rather than being driven to extremes. If we are to move forward as a country, it won’t be through the loud voices on the far edges, but through the quiet strength of those who understand the need for balance, compromise and the ability to listen to one another. In that middle space, there’s hope for real progress. #HopeOverHate