Remember this moment

 

<Small spoiler alerts ahead for this show up to Episode 2....>

When Jon and I watch shows like this together, it goes something like this:

I’ve got the remote. And no, I’m not skipping the show's intro.

Jon: “Why aren’t you skipping the intro?”

Me: “Because it’s going to give us clues. Important clues.”

Jon: “What clues?”

Me: “If you shush it and pay attention, you’ll see.”

Jon: “YOU shush it.”

One beat of silence.

Jon: “This is dumb. Nothing happens in the intro. It’s just theme music and fancy graphics.”

Meanwhile, I’m watching the screen like it’s a PowerPoint on how to survive an alien invasion. I’m squinting for background details. Reading nuance. Watching shadows move.

Jon: “Has the show even started yet?”

Me: “Listen, buddy. I’ve watched enough murder mysteries to know they don’t just toss in a blood-smeared knife and a slow zoom on a mushroom for funsies. Plus, the theme song is 'Sweet Dreams.' Have you ever listened to the lyrics?! There’s a reason they chose that song.”

Then - BOOM - I jump and point at the screen like I just spotted Bigfoot.

Me: “AHA! They just showed a hand with the tip of a finger missing! We haven’t met anyone with the tip of a finger missing yet. Someone's gonna use that to open a locked phone. Oh - and the big-ass knife? Finger-chopper. And the mushrooms? Mark my words - poison.”

Jon looks at me like I’m crafting conspiracy theories in a basement with string and thumbtacks.

Jon: “You’re just making up $hit.”

Thirty minutes later….

Jon: “WTF.”

I turn slowly, basking in his bewildered silence. I am calm. I am smug. I am basically Zoltar from the movie “Big" at this point.

Me: “Let this be a lesson to you, my friend. My knowledge of murder far exceeds yours. So next time you think I’m wasting time… remember this moment.”

And we're only on Episode Two.